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This weekend..  
05:55pm 24/04/2005
jennifer michelle
Well, Friday night Zack came over and hung out with Monica and I. Then i went to Marya's house and cried a lot and then came home. Prom day was AMAZING!!!! I had so much fun! I danced with 16 people!..yes i counted..lol i am amazing!! jk then kindra monica and i slept at zacks house and got home around 7am. Then we went to go to eckerds..and i got in an accident!!!! Go me and my first accident..in daddys car...woooo!! lol. Well, i am going to go i will write more later! I love ya'll!!! Hahahaha!!


P.S. Voodoo ritual
mood: cheerfulcheerful
music: The Killers
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but you're NEVER wrong  
12:01pm 17/04/2005
jennifer michelle

Well, my date with Zack went awesome! I had such a great time. We went and saw Hitched..he paid. I actually let him. Then he had a craving for donuts. I got home pretty close to 1. Then yesterday Matt called like three times and ended up telling me that he hung out with his old girlfriend Friday night and did everything but have sex with her. Wow, he definitely respects girls. I wish i had seen this earlier. Now i realize that that is all he ever wanted and i wasn't anything special..so that made me feel pretty sick. I got extremely upset but i am not going to use a guy to get over Matt. As far as i'm concerned..i don't have any feelings for him anymore..but i don't need to molest people to feel satisfied with myself. Fucking asshole. Prom. Prom. Prom. Gahhhh. I don't even want to go anymore. I feel so shitty about myself lately..that i don't even think i want to go. I mean i probably will.. but i probably won't be going with Matt anymore. I want to take Zack. Stupid Fort Mill rules though..lol Well, i am going to go out with Greg now.


mood: optimisticoptimistic
music: Early November
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I'm falling into memories of you..and things we used to do..  
08:04pm 15/04/2005
jennifer michelle
Well, i've had a pretty bad week to say the least. I cried at work all week. I went on a walk with Greg last night and just broke down. He really ade me feel a lot better. Then today Matt and i went to get his tux for prom. Then I told him about my date with Zach tonight..and he was so happy for me. I cried because i dont know if i want to move on. But he told me that things just got a little weird..and he told me the reason why he broke up with me. But anyways.. i'm going to the movies tonight with this guy Zach from work. He lives in my neighborhood. He's twenty years old. He has red hair..hmm nothing else really to say. KINDRA ALSO HAS A DATE TONIGHT WITH ZACH OWENNNNN!! I am so happy for her..it was so cute..he got the door for her and everything. I proposed to Steph today...ahh BEST DAY IN A LONG TIME!!! Except for the hickey. Gahh..but i do have some closure now which is getting better! I'm going to try my best to move on!

Well, I love you guys so much! Thanks for listening to me!!

mood: excitedexcited
music: Heaven: Yellowcard
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USC and some other pictures  
11:29am 11/04/2005
jennifer michelle

Outside of Lisa's window..beautiful!

McClintock! Hopefully, we get in there..

Another picture of McClintock!

Ses!!! I love her so much!

Aww look at that hottie!!

The Mexican sink..

..extremely odd

Yayy Kindra y yo!!

Pretty pictures of Columbia!

Pretty entrance to USC!

El Cheapo gas station..yea, you wish you had one!

Bridge that you go under when you get to USC!

Matt and I went walking through new houses at about 10:30 at night.

Matt was just a bit tired.

My prom dress..yes, it's weird. But-so am i!

Well yesterday Marya and i went shopping for some birthdays that are coming up! Steph and Kindra. We got Steph's present..but i haven't gotten Kindra anything yet. I already got her a shirt..and gave it to her because i can't keep surprises..but i want to give her something else that she can open on her birthday! I went to church with Marya where i met Lindsey..and i saw Dan again. A little awkward..but it was nice getting to talk to him. I did not like Lindsey too much. She is dating a 14 year old which is a bit sketchy to me. She gave weird looks and..idk she's just different. I dont know how else to put it. lol. Church..was...interesting. We walk inside and Marya goes "slut" to Lindsey! IN CHURCH!!! Ahhh..our churches are so different! I saw Snoopy <ahem> and the church clapped and there wasn't a priest. Marya got "the look" several times from me..but it was all very interesting. I would go back again. it was an experience and it surely wasn't a bad one. Or at all like a cult. SO i had a great weekend i suppose then my parents sure knew how to ruin it. I got my car taken away as well as my phone..and it was just total bullshit. Anyways..stuff happened and i'm not going to explain it in here. But i ended up having to stay home today and i had to go to the doctor. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow and i'm just sick of all of it. But i am going to go into school in about a half hour so that i can get all of my work and so i can talk with everyone at lunch, because i will go insane if i don't. I work tonight..yay! Well, i'll write more later of course.

<3 Jenn

mood: scaredscared
music: The CD Kindra made me! :)
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Darling I think it’s time that I let you go..  
11:58am 10/04/2005
jennifer michelle

Well, last night Matt came over after he got out of work. We took a walk and went in new houses. Then we went back to my house and he wanted to cuddle. Hmmmf. So i unpacked from Columbia and just cleaned up and then put in a movie and laid down. He was hugging me and kissing me and just...idk...i was like "why are you doing this?" and he said "to show u how much i missed u!" and i told him that he has to stop making me happy bc it will hurt me more in the long run if he just lives lies..and that he needs to find out what he wants. I also ended up finding out that the reason he lost feelings for me was because there was another girl. He works with her..she's in college..and she used to date his like..only guy friend. Wait, they were talking...my bad. He asked her to be his girlfriend..and out on a date..while we were still together..she told him no. I asked him why he liked her and he said because she had long hair. Wow. What a great reason to like someone. I didn't get upset at the time..but now that i think about it..if she had said yes..he would have thrown everything away. How could he do that? I know that i should not give him another chance..but the fact of the matter is..that i'm stupid and listening to everyone telling me not to take him back, including myself, doesn't do anything. I still love and care about him and i don't want to lose him. He has me wrapped around his finger. Then today we went to church together..and he told Father that i was his girlfriend. Why does he do these things? He said last night that when i touch him he gets all tingly and its a really good feeling..then why does he doubt?? It just does not make any sense. I wish that I could find someone who is interested in me..as much as i am with them. i told him that i want him to take her out and kiss her to see if he really has feelings for me. It will kill me.. but that's the only way we will know what to do. Gahh..fucking heartbreaker. Playing with my emotions.

I just wanna tell you so you know..here i go scream my lungs out try to get to you. you are my only one i let go theres just no one who gets me like you do you are my only my only one. made my mistakes let you down and i cant hold on for too long. ran my whole life in the ground and i cant get up when youre gone

mood: rejectedrejected
music: Only One..Yellowcard
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It's amazing what can appen in 24 hours...  
09:19pm 09/04/2005
jennifer michelle
  1. "Yea yea yea!!"
  2. "Thanks for being nice to me"
  3. "I BROUGHT MINE!!!"
  4. Cum sauce
  5. Mexican Madness
  6. Boys grabbing my boobs
  7. Flowers
  8. Staff Man
  9. The Mexican 70's sink
  10. Strobe Lights don't help math..or spanish
  12. Shower Sneeze
  13. Sore left butt cheek
  14. Inserting mattress into closet-sideways
  15. Panties
  16. 9:00 wake up calls-fuck that
  17. Creepy down syndrome man
  18. Margaret and Kathleen..enough said
  19. Retarded Subway woman
  20. "I like bread"
  21. Columbia people not knowing how to drive
  22. Off-roading...in Mexico
  23. Broken Cock..
  24. Stripping from Cocky
  25. Shocker from Cocky
  26. Nsync..
  27. DRAMA!!!
  28. Pouring rain
  29. Hitting head trying to shave
  30. 1' x 1' shower
  31. Kindra saying "ya'll"
  32. Farting
  33. Beans beans..theyre good for your heart. the more you eat the more you fart
  34. Power shit
  35. Flying pencils
  36. "Find a dirty boy that only wants s-e-x"
  37. Dressing up..not for the test..lol
  38. The scenary..;)
  39. Our hott truck
  40. Stained white pants
  41. Gorgeous Ryan
  42. Drinking and partying are fun
  43. Racing the Porsche
  44. Taking pictures..and lots of them
  45. "It smells like ass!" "Open ass.."
  46. "F' 'em all!"
  47. Pizza at 10:00 at night! :)
  48. "Can i have my license back?"
  49. "I'm sweating"
  50. 1/2 hour walk
  51. Harry Potter-Petigru
  52. "I guess i'm talking to myself today"

Well, i just got back from Columbia with Kindra and i had a total blast! Yay for road trips..we should have them more often!!!

<3 Jenn

mood: confusedconfused
music: The Starting Line
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Careful now you’re so beautiful and you’ve convinced yourself that no one else is quite as beautiful  
07:10am 06/04/2005
jennifer michelle
Well, I don’t even know what I can do anymore. Matt and I broke up last night. His feelings for me are not as strong as they used to be. Way to tell me that. Instead, he told one of my friends. That’s awesome. Drag others into a relationship that isn’t even important to you. He still has feelings for Amy, and I was just a rebound girl to try to help him be happy again. I talked with Marya, Greg, and Scott last night. I didn’t get to sleep until after 2. I work up at 5:45 and just went downstairs and talked to my mom. I don’t understand how you can lose feelings for someone when you claim 1. They didn’t do anything wrong. 2. You say there is nobody else. I don’t know what else to do. I didn’t like who he made me become, so I should be happy that it’s over, right? Somehow, I still feel like shit. It’s nice to know that I put everything that I had out on the line. He told me that he didn’t put anything. But now I can’t even stand being in my room. I have flowers, presents, pictures, and just so many fucking memories of him all over the fucking place. Well, i dont know what else to say....thanks to all my friends who put up with me for the past 4 months.

Fuck it.
mood: sadsad
music: Dashboard..and a LOT of it.
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Just bend the pieces til they fit, like they were made for it..  
02:00pm 30/03/2005
jennifer michelle

Greg and I..we picked out each other's clothes when we went to Lindsey's house..i love his watch! Ninja Turtles baby!! lol

Happy Easter to me!

Damn she knows how to pop it like it's hott ;)

Such a cute outfit..she is in stlye! haha!

Yayyyy USC!! I can't wait!

Well, i am going to go try to take a nap because i am definitely tired. Spring break has been awesome so far though:

  1. I was able to hang out with my friends a whole lot
  2. I went shopping a whole lot
  3. I'm making a lot of money
  4. The weather is beautiful
  5. I can wear shorts and tank tops
  6. I can go to bed late and wake up whenever i want to
  7. I don't have to sleep with socks
  8. Sleepovers
  9. Hanging out with Matthew

I just miss Margaret a whole lot...but i will see her eventually! I love you cheese!


mood: sleepysleepy
music: Dashboard Confessional
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09:49am 29/03/2005
jennifer michelle
Kindra and i had another wonderful day together. We slept at Marya's house two nights ago and then went to IHOP and had a great time. Kindra and i later went shopping..i got a skirt for $7.49 which was awesome!! We both got these really cute tank tops but now we need cardigans..blah..lol Then i found my prom dress! I will take pictures and post them sometime.. i like it a wholeeee lot. It was only like $85!! Well, then i went to Matt's house and was upset, so i left early while in the middle of a game with Dylan. I played Twister and had fun with his fam..but i left around 9..but matt had his coast guard physical fitness test today so i told him that we would talk later. But i got home and my mom told me that no relationship is perfect so im just gonna try to calm down about everything. I probably won't say anything except that i feel super self-conscious about myself now because of what he said. He'll just apologize over and over again..so i dont know what it will prove. We'll see how things go..well Kindra is coming over for the day. And Maggie is barfing her guts up..she ate a ton of chocolate on Easter. Stupiddd..

mood: awakeawake
music: Taking Back Sunday
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Breathe in deep, let it out slow..  
02:16pm 28/03/2005
jennifer michelle
Well, these past couple of weeks have been wonderful with my girlfriends. But, Matt on the other hand...i just don't know if i can deal with it anymore. He says he misses me way too much, says he loves me way too much, gets upset way too much, and basically..he thinks that he's better than me which is obnoxious. He told me that my clothes are not pretty, and that i dont have any style. He said it came out wrong and that he meant to say that he thinks that i dont think im beautiful enough for him..yea so his looks are better than mine, but i'm smarter than him. And i don't say that often at all. Looks are not everything. I have a style..it's just not his and i'm not going to dress metrosexual everyday. I told him that none of my other boyfriends ever said that and i cried and was mad about it for a day towards him. I am still upset. It's the worst thing to know that someone doesn't appreciate you. It is a pain in the ass to pick out clothes now just so that he won't make fun of what i'm wearing. I'm extremely subconscious now and i just can't take it. Even when he says i'm beautiful i feel that he's lying. And i've been going shopping a lot beacuse of this, and i know i shouldnt be..i just want to be pretty. And prom..gah..he's just gonna tell me how other girls are pretty all night. Is any of this even worth it?? I've never felt like this before. And if it wasn't Matt..he would be dumped. But a lot of you know why i can't break up with him..and it kills me. He treats me like i have to be his freaking babysitter..like kindra said.."he's 18, not 6" He doesnt tell his parents where he's going so they call my cell phone and get mad at me..this is ridiculous! This is why they hate me, because i'm a freaking babysitter. Yea i like Matt, yea i love Matt, but i am not in love with Matt. i do know what the difference is and i know that Matt is not perfect for me. I don't think that anyone deserves beong told that they dress bad or any of the other stuff he says. Yeah, i don't work out..i don't have abs. i dont care..yeah, it'd be nice, but i just don't care enough. He has to be massive and he tells me i should go running, or that i should do sit-ups. It's really upsetting and he is just becoming a total jackass. I just think that i need to break up with him, because i find myself being more sad than happy these days. i simply just can't do it. I'm sorry for bitching. I have the best friends ever and they make everything worthwhile. I'm just ready for school to be over..which spring break is awesome right now. Mall with Marya since we couldnt go to the beach, b/c apparently i had a kid seven years ago who i have to babysit constantly. Well, im done venting. I'm sorry.
mood: crappycrappy
music: Collide..<3
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